Entry #4 - July 24, 2026

"College"

Just gonna go here to say that I officially have a college :P Four months after Ateneo's rejection, I now have a sure college that I'll be going to. The past 4 months, despite doing nothing, has been so stressful for the sole reason that after getting rejected, every single fucking family member has been asking me about which College I now plan to go to. Clearly, I have no idea because I've been rejected.

Now, though, things are a bit calmer emotionally. I passed a somewhat prestigious school, got in a program that I am somewhat interested in, and my family is supportive of me. At least for now, they support the school and my degree program. Contrary to my 'About me' bio on the home page and my dreams of becoming a creative/art director, my degree program is Bachelor of Arts in Diplomacy and International Affairs. I am aware that that is almost a 180 turn from my creative dreams, but I do have to prioritize my financial future and my family's expectations of me.

That is not to say that I do not like my program or this field, or that I cannot decide on my program without fear of my family's approval (hehehe. hehe. he-), but I won't deny that if we lived in a fantasy world where everyone had job security and creativity is tolerated, I definitely would have chosen my priority program: Bachelor of Arts in Multimedia Arts. Still, I look forward to my program. Choosing diplomacy over arts does not mean that I can't pursue arts as a hobby or as a career in the future, it just means that I have a safer path ahead.

Although, I do admit that one of my main reasons for choosing Diplomacy is because I fear my family's questioning (and I mean endless questioning) of what Multimedia Arts is and if it's even a worth it program.

Anyway, after asking a question on Reddit on whether or not Chinese Mandarin is a feasible foreign language to learn as a Filipino with no background in it, someone replies with an invitation to an Instagram group chat with other Diplomacy students. The social and lowkey excited being that I am, I agreed and shared my personal IG account with a complete stranger :3 I was excited, alright. They proceeded to invite me to a discord server and two Instagram group chats.

I'm aware that this college is expensive as fuck and that the people who go here are probably in a different economic class from me (considering the only reason I can afford to go here is because of an uncle's sponsor), but wow, seeing their profiles really solidified that wealth difference. First of all, they all had Iphones. I am an android user, for now >:| Second of all, almost all of them have multiple posts and highlights of being in different countries. The farthest I've gone from the Philippines is when we went to a beach on a different Philippine island 😭 and when we actually were about to go to a different country, I got offloaded by an immigration officer...

Now I fear that I may not be able to communicate with them and maintain friendships with them because of our differences. Maybe my personality can clutch a friendship, but what then when they plan to hang out and I can't afford to join them and I get left behind. I try not to worry too much and just make myself view them as actual, normal people, albeit significantly wealthier. I'm hopeful that my face card is enough to hold friendships with them, LOL.

Entry #3 - July 2, 2026

"Like Asking The Backrooms to Review a Film it's Never Seen Before..."

Let's talk Backrooms. Unfortunately, I've already seen other people's opinions on it so my own opinion is slightly tainted. Regardless, though, I'm still going to share my thoughts as we are meant to have opinions and not be stance-less. At least in my life, this blog one of the few ways I can express my stance on things without being murdered (figuratively: verbally, emotionally, familially). Granted, this stance is on a pretty uncontroversial topic. Also, this is just a pool of my opinions, not a critically thought-out analysis of the Backrooms. I'm still working towards that, though.

I really liked the Backrooms. From it's story, acting, visuals, and everything. There were some odd things here and there, but overall, It's a favorite. Admittedly, I am biased: I am biased because I was already a fan of Kane Parsons and his series' beforehand, because the film has liminal imagery, and because I love anything related to the Backrooms conceptually.

Starting off. The story. My only complaint would be that it was too short. I felt that not enough time was given to see Clark's decline. In my opinion, it felt so sudden. I was actually confused on how long he was in the Backrooms for before Mary searched for him. Even after seeing the pile of letters by his doorsteps, I thought, initially, that only a few days had passed. I only considered that he was probably in there for weeks after I exited the Cinema.

Ending-wise, I think the ambiguity of Mary's path ahead is fitting for the Backrooms as a concept. The Backrooms itself, in my opinion, is an unsure place: It is infinite and it is transient. We're not certain if she ever gets out, if she's dead, or if she's started working for Async. I prefer to believe the latter possibility as she's knowledgeable regarding how the Backrooms function, she's a Psychologist, and she would be a great recurring character (based).

In terms of acting, I really enjoyed the acting as it was mostly believable and I was able to really see the characters rather than the actors.

My only issue would be on the scenes of Mary and Clark's therapy dialogues. I found Mary's dialogues and delivery as a therapist to be... cliche? Her delivery was like that of every other therapist in every other film. I wouldn't put this loss on Renate Reinsve, though, as I am absolutely biased towards kind, unproblematic women. She did great with what she was given and she was amazing for the rest of the film. I particularly loved her facial expressions when Pirate Clark was chasing her as she looked so terrified and confused on what to do next.

As for Clark, I have not much comments on his acting aside from the fact that Chiwetel Ejiofor played him perfectly. Clark is so problematic but so pitiable. He is suffering because of his own actions and because he cannot acknowledge that he is the problem. Maybe not the whole of it, but he certainly plays a part in his own misery by not being able to see where he went wrong. Most of all, as he said, he doesn't want to change and he doesn't want to be better... And as incriminating as it sounds, I do relate to that sentiment. Sometimes, you've already done so many bad things and made so many mistakes that you question if it's even worth to change your behavior; If being better will still have an impact on yourself, and especially the people around you.

Anyway, that is not to say that I still subscribe to that sentiment. Well, sometimes. The point is, Clark is acted perfectly and it is very easy to see yourself in him. Especially if you're a conflicted/problematic person yourself.

Lastly, the visuals. Surprise surprise, I love it unconditionally. I haven't really developed a strong palette in terms of my preference for cinematography and set design in film, so anything creative, new, and unconventional definitely sticks with me. I love films like Everything Everywhere All at Once, Knives Out: Wake Up Dead Man, It's What's Inside, and Sinners for its colors; and Severance, Backrooms, and The Residence for its camerawork. For the Backrooms, I absolutely love how colorful the outside world is and how dull The Complex is in comparison. The vibrant, technicolor-like coloring of the outside world compared to the monotone coloring and "modern" lighting of The Complex is such an obvious, but nonetheless amazing detail of the film. Also, the set. That's it. It's perfect. I want to go there...

Before I close this surface-level opinion pool, I would like to address the (previously) 20-year-old elephant in the room that has been stirring my feelings of self-worth. I am so envious but also so so so idolizing of Kane Parsons. He is close to my age (18) and he's achieved so much in such a short amount of time. Knowing that he has been creating art and truly honing his skills since he was like 14 (I guessed that number), it does make one feel inadequate and unaccomplished. That would be my feelings before. Now, though, I feel only a burning passion to improve myself, my skills, and my art to his level. Although it's particularly hard when there's 5 different passions going on at once.

Overall, I really enjoyed the Backrooms and I would definitely rewatch it once it releases digitally. I am aware that this blog is rather unstructured and unfocused but I am trying to improve that aspect of my long abanoned writing skills.

Entry #2 - June 30, 2026

"The Path Ahead of my Coding Journey"

Hi ppl, whoever and if ever you are- people. Now that I'm 99% finished with the Nochucosm, as finished as one can be with a site that's meant to be consistently updated, I feel that there's still so many things I could do and have done better. The week I spent making this site has taught me so much about html/css and how to steal some Javascript codes from much more capable people. With all these things learnt, part of me now wishes to make a whole new site. The urge is so strong, I tell you, but I have to remind myself that I have to at least make use of what I have created. Even for just a few months.

On another hand, though, it's very likely that I'll forget everything I've learned if I stop coding for even a few months. And with college coming up and all the new things I have to study and retain, I don't thnk my weak ass brain capacity will be able to store unused information: such as my coding knowledge.

I had an idea, though. What if, rather than coding a whole new site for myself, I just continue coding "practice" sites. These sites purpose will be to practice new layouts and to retain my coding knowledge. This way, I can also start experimenting for my future NEW site layout that is 100% guaranteed to happen in the future because I cannot sit still: I simply have to be doing something. I will likely upload those future HTML/CSS codes/website layouts and share them online. I may finally have a contribution to my community :P

Anyway, with the aforementioned practice sites and my intentions with it, I also hope that I figure out what organization system is best for my future websites. As right now, I am struggling to be content with the folder/file system I have going on with the Nochucosm. Any day now, I feel that my files will grow out of control and become unorganized. Not that it's visible to casual site viewers, right, but for some reason, something in me always strives for maximum efficiency in whatever I do.

In Minecraft, that would often manifest with my efficient and sorted chest system and base layout; In real life, that would manifest in how I organize my bedroom/desk/necessities to be as accessible as possible; And in coding, it manifests in my need to make sure that the files are in their best, accurate folder category and named consistently so that they're automatically sorted by category/theme/content. In this case, my folder names specify the content they contain (blinkies, stamps, general,etc.), and the file names specify the category/theme/content. An example file name would be a PNG stamp of a dog saying the word queer: stamp_animals_dogsayingqueer.png.

There's nothing particularly wrong with this system, in fact, I think it works very well and can possibly hold up in the future. But I do believe that it can be improved even more, especially if I continued to apply and actually use it (the file/name system).

Wow. A lot of rambling. Almost made a point. I apologize, I should not dismiss the value of my words lol.

Entry #1 - June 26, 2026

"Avoiding Responsibilities"

One thing about this site is that I started the base code on June 20, 2026. By June 26, it was already 90% done. This is my first ever complete website and I finished it in one week. Granted, I did use some old code from my abandoned website way back in December of 2025.

Regardless, I still think it was pretty impressive that I made it so quickly. My main theory as to why I was so efficient is because the week that I made this site, this week, is (supposed to be) dedicated to studying for my upcoming entrance exam. Idk, I just tought that was pretty funny. Wish me luck tho.